Judgement & Comparison

I started this post with the intent to write about ways we are all incomparable. As a creative, I struggle with comparison. Comparison is often a distraction from creativity. When our art is an extension of our selves it is hard to feel successful when we are worried about being compared instead of enjoying our process. I set out to find something about my art that was not comparable. There must be something! Something about myself, and others, that we can all identify as truly unique!

I asked the people in my life to share something about themselves that is incomparable. What is something that you create or a lifestyle choice that is unique? The conclusion that I came to at the time made me a little uncomfortable. Everything is comparable. How I act, speak, my marriage, my art, my political affiliation, all of it. Yikes. Because of this revelation, my new question became; how can comparison be healthy?

How do I compare myself to others without tearing myself down or lifting myself up at the expense of someone else? How can I live harmoniously with comparison as a creative?

I came to the realization that, for myself, the intent behind what I make is the difference between healthy and unhealthy comparison. When I am building floral pieces and I am worried about being “sized up” against another artist, my pieces take me twice as long. I once spent 4 hours straight on one bouquet because I was in a cloud of poor self-talk and already trying to compare my unfinished work with a competitive spirit. I stopped trusting my instincts and my process.

When I allow my fellow creatives to inspire me, I get a sense of what healthy comparison looks like. To be inspired is to compare ourselves to our inspiration. This form of comparison leads to a growth-oriented mindset and allows us to set goals instead of constantly looking back and thinking, Not good enough. When I am experiencing unhealthy comparison, I notice that negative self-talk enters my thoughts.

When I look at someone’s work and think about how I stack up, or when family or friends put down another creative to lift me up, I feel so drained and am unable to put energy into my work. If I take the time to experience someone’s work as an expression of their humanity and choose to feel inspired by that, I am able to look at my own work through the same lens. Inspiration does not come with the same fear and doubt that accompanies comparison. Inspiration brings hope, leads to hard work and the belief that we are enough.

I will always be compared. Everything I am is comparable. Giving myself the time and space to feel inspired and not bogged down by comparison is my lifelong quest as an artist. I strive to create for the joy of creating, and I long to continue to be inspired by my community.

PHOTOGRAPHER | Ellie Nisbet @ellienisbetphotography